8.19.08

"All you can do is pick the least bad thing." These words from Dr. Barden have proven to be prophetic over the past few days as Ethan has taken steps backwards on his breathing.

After 10 days on CPAP, and Ethan's growing hatred for the mask and prong get-up, Dr. Nau thought it was time to try Vapo-Therm, a less intrusive and more flexible form of pressurized oxygen support for Ethan. Well, hind-sight being what it is, Ethan's lungs just weren't ready, and after 3 hours of labored breathing on Vapo-Therm, Ethan's CO2 level was at 94, and he was put back on CPAP.

This time around, however, his CPAP was hooked up to a ventilator, which would help him do the work of breathing by giving him a breath about every 15 seconds. He was still struggling with the mask on Sunday, so two different kinds of nasopharyngeal tubes were attempted to try and make him more comfortable. We are now on a "two-pronged attack" with a tube in each nostril that goes back to his sinuses.

Needless to say, this has been quite the up-and-down trip for Lisa and me, as we continue to try and help Ethan stay comfortable and grow out of his lung dysfunction. Two days and three procedures for Ethan wrecks more havoc for parents than it does for preemies, who seem to be short on everything including memory, thank goodness.

However, we are very grateful and thankful that out of all the problems Ethan could have, lung issues can be grown out of and will have no long-term ill effects on his development.

In addition, we talked with Dr. Barden for more than an hour on Monday and he really helped us to see the bigger picture. All of this is bad, but it is not permanent, he told us. Ethan will eventually catch up to where he should be developmentally, and any future plans he has for being a triathlete or wind ensemble member are still there for the taking. We just have to do the best we can in the moment and out of the all the bad stuff, pick the "least bad" path in dealing with it all.

When I look at Ethan and Allison each night, I remember that the "least bad path" can lead to some pretty good things.